Why a Sudden Break Up Isn’t the Worst Thing to Happen to You
Break ups aren’t fun. They are part of dating though — you’ll keep breaking up with partners until you don’t when a partnership sticks. So facing the end of a relationship or dating someone is the risk you have to take when you put yourself and heart out there. Although breaking up with someone, especially a sudden break-up, can be a real drag, it isn’t the most horrible event to face. Why?! There are usually very good reasons why a bond dissolves.
Here are four good reasons why a sudden break up isn’t the worst thing to happen to you:
They Had Different Values Than You
In no relationship, whether it’s a romantic or platonic one, will you always see eye-to-eye with someone. It’s actually kinda healthy to not just have people agreeing with you 100% of the time.
But there is a difference between disagreeing on a few small things and having fundamentally different approaches to life. It’s isn’t about shared interests, it’s about shared values around family, tradition, spirituality, politics and finances.
If your ex didn’t support you in making healthful decisions for yourself, then it’s best that they are no longer sharing imitate parts of your life with them. A partner is meant to want what is best for you, encourage you to follow your heart.
They Didn’t Treat You Right
A good partner is someone who makes themselves available to you. If your ex wasn’t able promise or commit and then follow through, then they weren’t treating you right.
You wouldn’t tolerate a friend being undependable on a regular basis, so why would you let a person you’re dating treat you that way? They obviously didn’t make you or the relationship a priority.
In a relationship, the sole purpose of your partner is not to make you feel good. But the relationship shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself.
A healthy bond is about spending time with someone you respect and who respects you, someone who you enjoy spending your time with, someone who is proud of your relationship.
If weren’t able to check off those boxes, then it’s best that that relationship is over!
They Were In Active Addiction
Whether it’s a problem with alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, sex or an eating disorder, an addiction makes it impossible to have an authentic connection with someone.
If they aren’t in recovery, a person in active addiction prioritizes their drug of choice and you will never be as important — no matter what they may say to you. There is a very fine line between handling the problematic individual, and becoming emotionally abused by them.
If someone is going out and partying, or even developing a drinking problem, restoring trust takes a lot of time — a lot of time you may not have.
You can’t fix a person with an addiction, they need to seek help and pursue health for themselves. Perhaps once they have some clean time and are seeking to be honest and well, then there is a chance to reunite. Until they get sober you will never be able to truly connect with them.
They were Jealous
An adult relationship is based on trust. This means that the partners can share honestly about the most intimate selves.
It also means that they can be independent of their significant other without prompting suspicion. If your former flame didn’t trust you, doubted your intentions with others and/or would check up on you to make sure you were where you said you’d be — it’s lucky you got out.
Jealously isn’t about love or affection, it’s about power and insecurity. It truly doesn’t matter what you do or say to prove your commitment — it is your exs problem and inability to trust.
You wouldn’t have been able to prove your fidelity to them, so it’s good you’re not wasting your time any more.
Healing after a break-up takes time. During the process you should reflect on what you learned with your ex. There will be positive memories and lessons you’ll take away.
It’s important to recognize why the relationship didn’t work — how you contributed to it and what your ex’s part was. If you can identify the reason for the end of the relationship it will assist you in your healing and help you to make healthier romantic decisions in the future.