Relationship

Are You in Love, or Just Comfortable?

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Are you in love or just living in the comfort zone?

So, you’re in love. This person in the one, or are they? Funny thing about love is that it can change. It can grow into something even more beautiful than when it began, and other times fall stale and barely there. When it grows, it’s amazing, but when the love is gone do you know when to say when? Let’s weigh it all out and figure this one out.

Butterflies
I was once told that butterflies are overrated. Don’t believe it. There’s nothing like that twinge of excitement at the thought of being near someone. We’ve all had those quivers in the beginning of the dating process. Constantly thinking of that person and the giddiness of it all. Now you’re way past the initial dating phase, and not feeling those goosebumps like you used to. This could be one of a few things. If you feel it was just the excitement of dating someone new that brought about the butterflies, then you need to seriously look at that. Has everything somewhat fallen flat, and nothing about this person really does anything for you anymore? Have you had frequent thoughts that you would be just as happy, if not happier getting back out there and seeing what you’re missing? Then maybe you should leave this alone, because it seems as if perhaps you’ve gotten a bit comfortable and it truly wouldn’t take you much to walk away from it all. If you feel that things have somewhat leveled off, but still at the thought of this person, you smile, or think on how you enjoy being with them, their laugh, how much them eating sugar on their spaghetti is weird, but you love whatever makes them, them….then that just means that your butterflies have matured into adoration, definitely a step up.

Time alone is time well spent
Remember wanting to constantly do everything together? Ummm…not so much now? Fine, nothing wrong hanging with the guys for a bit, or having an epic girl’s night, but it’s what you feel during this time apart that may determine whether this is love, or you’re just too comfortable to bail just yet. If during your time apart you find yourself feeling like you’ve discovered this new-found freedom that you’ve been missing in your life and now you can finally breathe…if you feel as if you’ve been released from a chokehold, that may be a sign that this relationship is not for you. If you spend the night having a blast, but can’t wait to share the events of the evening with your mate, and share with them what a great time you had…well, that means you thought of them and thinking of your mate while actually enjoying yourself is an awesome thing, and something to hold onto.

Every little thing you do
Habits…mostly everyone has them, right? It’s how much you can tolerate of your mate’s habits that may determine how deep is your love. If your mate does things out of pure habit that drive you up a wall, and even make you reconsider your commitment to the relationship, “ding-ding-ding” this again, may not be the best fit for you. Especially if a life without them sounds better to you than dealing with their singing in the car, or how they like to sleep with the television on. Things this minor can be worked out or worked around if you truly love someone, and if you don’t feel it’s worth the effort, then it’s most definitely time to move along. Think about it, when in love, there are times when you don’t even notice the quirks of your mate, because what makes them different sometimes makes you love them even more…besides, what habits of yours are they loving you enough to stick through?

Point of it all
Really taking the time to look at each of these will certainly help you to weigh out your dedication to your relationship and to see if you’re in it for the right reasons. Also, don’t see the signs and continue to not address your true feelings, because if you are not planning on seeing the relationship through, but just plan to deal with it at another time, is not the fairest thing to do to your mate. If you’ve looked at these things, and you’re just as in love, as you were when you began reading, then awesome for you and here’s to true love.

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