5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong After Having Kids
The birth of a child is difficult but at the same time wonderful and sentimental event that fills the life of young parents with the meaning and makes their hearts beat faster. In most cases, it turns the world of the whole family upside down, because their childbirth expectations don’t always match realities. If you’ve noticed that the baby’s arrival has relegated your love to second place, you shouldn’t let things slide. Your inaction and unerring faith that kids unite parents can only further destabilize the situation, create various emotional barriers between you and your spouse and plant thoughts about divorce in your minds. However much you love your baby, you should never forget that your partner needs your love, attention, and care like oxygen as well. Read the article and you’ll understand what ways, techniques, and behaviors can help you keep your marriage on track and strengthen the bond of love with your spouse after having a baby.
1. Divide Duties And Responsibilities With Your Spouse
Both child-rearing and earning money are two challenging occupations that require a lot of time, efforts, and patience. It means that it’s necessary to divide childcare and housework duties with your partner. Clear definition of parental roles will bring you closer together and make your marriage work like clockwork. It’s strongly recommended to discuss the division of responsibilities before the kid arrives, but if you haven’t done this in time, you should do it right after childbirth. Otherwise, chronic resentment, nervous exhaustion, misunderstandings, and miscommunications will gradually derail your marriage, because it’s difficult to dominate the chaos and live with absolute uncertainty.
2. One Day Off Per Week
Having a child turns mothers into superheroes. They’ve to care for children, satisfy their needs, deal with their temper tantrums, find innovative solutions to various problems and be on guard 24 hours a day during the full week. Unfortunately, not all women can withstand this test successfully. Those mothers, who can’t manage their time and fail to effectively schedule their household chores, usually fall into depression, lose their appeal and start taking it out on their husbands. But the quality and regime of men’s life after childbirth aren’t better because they’ve to earn lots of money and combine their work and family responsibilities under prolonged periods of stress as well.
The only solution that can reduce emotional tension in your marriage and improve your life is at least one day off per week. This day will offer both you and your spouse a valuable opportunity to relax, shift the focus from family problems to something pleasant, have some personal time and make your relationship as a healthy relationship.
3. Prioritize Maintaining a Peaceful Environment in Your Family
Many marriages end due to the partners’ inability to keep their nerves in times of crisis. One of such moments in the life of spouses is childbirth. As a parent, I know that it’s hard to smile and maintain a positive home environment if you’re in the depths of postpartum depression at the moment. But you shouldn’t fall into despair because it won’t be like this for long. Every time, you’re going to sort out your relationship, you should remind yourself that regular quarrels and hysterics kill love and often leave a strong sense of resentment deep in your spouse’s heart. Without a doubt, it’s harmful to bottle up both positive and negative emotions, but sometimes it’s better to stay silent for the sake of your marriage.
4. Don’t Forget About Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy has always been one of the key elements of a stable, strong and happy marriage. Very often, exhausted by family and work young parents forget about the importance of love life and refuse to get physically intimate with each other. It’s a big mistake because the absence of physical contact between spouses makes them feel lonely and distances them from one another. Extremely busy spouses should understand that physical intimacy doesn’t consist only of regular sex. It’s necessary to kiss, hug, touch each other and play games that can get your minds off all problems, relieve the fatigue and perhaps even lead to something more…
5. Talk to Each Other Regularly
Besides being physically intimate, both partners should work on keeping their emotional connection strong. Life is busy, but spouses should find time to discuss important moments of their common life, get rid of inhibitions and discover something new together. As soon as you learn how to be on the same wavelength with your spouse and feel each other’s emotions regardless of the distance and other obstacles, your marriage will reach a new level of intimacy and get stronger. If you feel that your emotional connection is getting weaker, you shouldn’t wait until the situation gets out of hand. It’s better to initiate a heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse to understand what went wrong. Your silence will just give birth to a communication gap, misunderstandings, and conflicts.
No matter how you slice it, it’s crucially important to pay enough attention to the quality of the relationship with your spouse too, because the happiness and success of your child’s life mostly depend on the prosperity of your marriage.