Dating Tips Millennials Should Learn from Boomers and Gen Xer’s
If you are a millennial, then you know how weird it is to be dating in today’s dating scene. These days, all we’re settling for are glimpses of “traditional” relationships, hoping we’ll be so lucky to find a long-lasting and honest relationship resembling those of Boomers and Generation X. No one is holding hands any longer, everyone is having sex on the first date (and never calls back the day after), superficial relationships have replaced the beauty of commitment, the way we look has become more important than the way we feel… and it’s all becoming a little too much.
The nostalgia for the past times
With the current dating climate, it is safe to say that we’re collectively suffering from relationship nostalgia. There is a feeling we’ve been craving intimacy more than we’re willing to admit because admitting it would mean we had willingly screwed ourselves over.
Experimenting with what we had thought was happiness and freedom, we’ve drowned ourselves in detachment, fear and a completely unnecessary abundance of options. If we had someone to teach us better, we’d know that experimenting is synonymous with being lost, that lack of true intimacy cannot be compensated for by physical intimacy and that, no matter what we did, we will end up wanting stability and love. And currently, we don’t have it.
The internet catastrophe
While on the one hand, the internet has made everything possible, on the other, it has made everything impossible. One of those Catch 22 moments, you know?
These days, it’s easier than ever to find information online, be it for business or dating purposes. Business is easy, really. But, when it comes to dating – it’s a bit trickier than it appears to be.
Our social images rarely ever match our realities, making this whole online dating very deceptive. Everyone can look like Megan Fox or Colin Farrell these days with the right amount of VSCO saturation and shadow. And, we buy it. Each time. Then comes the feeling of absolute inadequacy compared to the person we like, and the goes-without-saying fear of being left or ghosted. So, we either skid or do the next bad thing – have sex on the first date, thinking that THAT will keep him/her interested. Wrong. Absolutely wrong. If anything, they’ll just walk away since they’ve gotten EVERYTHING in a single date. They go home and you go back to scrolling through Tinder, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram…. looking for another failure to date. Sad, so sad. But it’s not your fault. It’s the millennial dynamics of things.
What should change?
At this point, we aren’t really sure we’ll manage to change anything on a global scale. What we can do, though, is focus on the individual.
The next time you meet someone (online or offline), instead of doing a thorough DNA search of all of their social platforms and spreading our legs the moment that first glass of wine kicks in, maybe you should approach things differently. For instance, love yourselves and appreciate what you can give. Ever thought of that?
The problem with millennial dating dynamics is that, for some reason, we are all convinced we’re not enough (maybe capitalism shaped us so?). Still hoping we’ll be good enough to be loved, we’ve become ready to do anything for just a hint of true intimacy and affection. Can a chat replace his hand in yours? Can a one night stand match a lazy Saturday together, watching movies and messing up the sheets with takeout? Not really. But then, can we have it all? Both the excitement and love? Actually, we can. As long as we’re ready to change our attitudes.
Here are a few amazing first date tips that will serve you great if you are looking to transform your unhealthy millennial dating routine. We’ve stolen a few of these from the Boomers:
Stop the obsessive social networking
The more you’re checking if he’s online (and why he isn’t writing), the more unhealthy things are getting. He’s working. He’s not by his phone. He’s in a meeting or class. He’ll text, let things be. Just as you have a life, so does he. Let him enjoy it.
Wait before you put out
If you’ve read the text above, you know what we’re talking about. Delay the sexual pleasure, meet the person first.
Be open and honest
Don’t try to imitate your Instagram profile. Be you, love who you are and let them fall in love with it.
Leave your phone in the bag
You have a live, interested, cute person sitting next to you. Why would you scroll through Instagram instead of talk to them? It’s not only rude but it’s devoid of intimacy and consideration for your significant other.
All of the text you’ve read above may be either over thinking or stating the obvious – depends on your personal standpoint. We’ll hope it’s over thinking and the right person is waiting just around the corner.