How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Parents as Adults

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As an adult, your relationship with your parents can change. Some people find that they get on better with their parents as adults, thanks to the change in power balance and no longer living with them. Others might find it a bit more difficult to connect with them because they’re not sure how to interact as equals or they feel that their parents still treat them like children. If you’re unsure how to maintain a good relationship with your parents now that you’re all grown up, you should think about how you want to relate to them and what you want out of the relationship.

Connect as Adults

Your parents never really stop being your parents, but there comes a point where you’re an adult who needs to take charge of their own life. You can still view them as your parents who might be there for you in your times of need, but you can also relate to them on a more equal level. You’re all adults now so you can create a more balanced relationship. You might talk to each other a bit more like friends, although there are still some things you might not share with each other that you would be happy to share with friends.

Don’t Hide Frustrations

Your parents can have the unique ability to annoy you in a way that no one else can. Of course, they might say the same about you. But if there are things that your parents do that annoy you, ignoring them isn’t always a good idea. Sometimes, it’s best to deal with these frustrations by addressing them. You might ask your parents to stop doing something or try to get them to see your point of view on a matter. However, not everything needs to be confronted. Some annoying things are better off ignored, instead of creating a big issue out of them.

Only Ask for Opinions When You Want Them

Going to your parents for advice is a habit that can be hard to break. If you know they can help you, calling them up for advice on how to cook something or fix your car often seems like a great solution. But when it comes to deeper life advice, be careful about asking for their opinion. Unless you’re sure that you want to hear what they have to say, don’t ask for advice. Some people ask for advice from their parents because they’re really expecting approval. If that’s what you’re looking for, it’s best to steer away from it.

Provide Help When It’s Needed

As you all get older, your relationship becomes more balanced. But sometimes it can feel like it starts to go in the other direction when your parents are aging. As they get older, they might start to be less capable and require some form of help. Although you can’t make them accept any help that they don’t want, you can help them out by discussing their options and finding something that works for them. Even if your parents don’t need professional care, they might ask for help in a variety of other ways. You could help them with technology problems, housework or perhaps money.

Help Them to Maintain Independence

Even if your parents do need a bit of extra help as they get older, they’re unlikely to take kindly to being treated like they’re suddenly the child in the relationship. Although you want to take care of them like they did for you, they’re adults and have been for a long time. Many older adults prioritize their independence over everything else, and dislike the idea of needing care. If a care solution is necessary, you can help by looking for possibilities like home care or assisted living from These options can help your parents to stay independent while receiving the care that they need.

Get the Right Balance of Communication

How much is the right amount to communicate with your parents? Is it too much to speak every day, every week or once a month? Everyone has different ideas but the important thing is finding a balance that works for both of you. With modern technology, you might find that you communicate a lot but it’s through short messages on Facebook or Whatsapp instead of long phone calls. Keeping in touch is important, but you both also want to have your own lives.

Set Boundaries on Parenting Grandkids

Sometimes, it seems like grandparents love their grandchildren more than their own children. After all, they get to lavish them with affection without having to parent them full-time. However, some grandparents aren’t so keen to sit back and watch when it comes to parenting. They can’t help but give their opinion or do things their own way. If you find that this is an issue, you need to set some rules on when you want their opinion and when you want them to follow your example.

Resolve Childhood Issues

Lingering issues from childhood can sometimes affect your relationship with your parents as an adult. While some things can affect the way you interact forever, there are many issues that can be resolved so that you can be on more equal footing. You might discover that the things you’re holding onto aren’t even things that your parents remember or think of as particularly important. This can be annoying but it can also change your perspective, as well as theirs.

Treat Them How You Want to Be Treated

Whenever you’re trying to build a strong relationship with other people, the important thing to remember is how you want them to treat you. If you want to have an equal relationship with your parents, you have to give them the same respect that you want them to give to you. It’s also worth considering how you want to be treated when you’re older too. You might not be at that stage in life yet but you will be one day.

You can have a great relationship with your parents as an adult. However, sometimes it might take a bit more effort.

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