Keeping The Child-Parent Relationship Healthy When It Comes To Care Homes
Putting a parent into care is never an easy decision. Even if it’s a step they’re on board with, the chances are that you’ll feel guilty. The majority of us, after all, like to think we would care for our parents until the end. Some of us even joke about things like annexes and shared living.
But, when the time comes, caring for a parent full-time doesn’t always work. Despite our best efforts, there are many reasons why we may face care homes instead. It may be that your parent has age-related health conditions you aren’t qualified to cope with. Or, the parent in question may make an informed decision to take their care out of your hands.
Either way, you’ll find yourself facing the much-dreaded c-word. Sadly, when that happens, many a parent-child relationship can come crashing down. Displaced feelings of guilt or resentment can lead to loss of communication, and even family feuds.
Luckily, there are steps you can take to ensure that doesn’t happen between you and your much-loved parent. And, we’re going to look at them here.
Find the right facility
Feelings of guilt are sure to be exacerbated if you choose somewhere you know isn’t right. There’s also more chance you’ll lose contact to ease those guilty feelings. But, you can do away with that altogether by looking into places where you’re sure your parent will be happy. There really is a home out there for everyone. Facilities like Sun Towers Retirement Community even boast of independent luxury apartments. There’s no need to send your loved one to a high-dependency option you know they’ll hate. Just shop around, and make sure to visit a few homes together before deciding.
Make sure you don’t take over
Choosing a care home for yourself is incredibly difficult. Hence, there’s a good chance your parent will ask you to pick out a selection of places for them. The critical thing to remember is that, ultimately, this is their decision. Unless they’re mentally unfit to choose, you need to know when to step back. By forcing your loved one into a home they aren’t comfortable with, you could do untold damage to both your relationship and their happiness. So, make sure always to ask what they want before arranging anything.
Make plans for regular contact…and KEEP them!
Many of us also make the mistake of leaving our parents in a care home and getting on with our lives. This is a coping mechanism. You won’t have to feel guilty if you don’t visit. But, the parent in question needs you more than ever once they enter a home. Family visits can help to ease the pain of lost independence. The last step to keeping your relationship healthy, then, is to set regular visit dates and stick to them. This continued communication also has the benefit of ensuring you know how your loved one is being treated. If something isn’t right, you can take action, and thus further strengthen your bond.