Standards and Settling: Weighing Out What’s Worth the Wait
Dear Universe, I’d like a man 6’ft 2″, dark, professional, nice smile, likes movies, only eats pizza with well-done crust, wears black on Tuesday, etc… We all have things we’d like in a mate, but at what point does it begin to get a little bit silly? Standards and settling have always been a difficult thing to balance when scoping out a potential life partner, so let’s see if we can sort through what’s worth the wait.
Someone with your same morals is definitely worth the wait. One of the biggest failures that you set yourself up for is dating someone who doesn’t share the same values as far as trust, respect, honesty etc… If the person you’re seeing doesn’t place the same value on those things, then it’s a lost cause. You need someone who shares the same morals and values as you do, because these things are what determines how this person differentiates between right and wrong. It’s nearly impossible to maintain a solid relationship with someone who doesn’t think lying to you is wrong. Get what I’m saying? It doesn’t matter how hot he is, how mind blowing the sex is (though that would really suck if he were a liar), if he doesn’t match your level of honesty and respect, all of that won’t mean much of anything in a relationship that lacks those key elements.
A person who matches your sex drive and you are attracted to are also worth the wait. This could sound a bit shallow to some, but let me explain why it most certainly is not. You must be attracted to something about someone you plan to begin anything with. Everyone has their own taste. Some ladies may be attracted to certain physical features, while other women are turned on by energy, intelligence, creativity, wit, whatever it is, it must make you want to have sex with that person. If you are a person that is sexually active, sex is a major part of any relationship. It is a way that couples bond physically and intimately. Consistently sharing that level of intimacy is another way that couples grow closer. It boosts your endorphin levels and tends to make couples more affectionate. Now if you and your mate are celibate, there are other physical things that can be done to ensure you two are in sync. If you are waiting for marriage, whatever you do, please make sure you two spend plenty of time connecting physically in those other ways, as well as discussing what each of you likes and enjoys sexually from their mate. The last thing you want to do is waste time hoping it’s going to be worth the wait, and then have to start all over again with someone new.
Everyone wants to be with someone that they have lots in common with, so you can do everything you like to do together, right? Well, if you’re waiting on someone who’s into everything you like to do…this is certainly not worth the wait, and there is a simple explanation for this. Who wants to date a carbon copy of themselves? Ok narcissists, you may now put your hands down. I always thought there was something very sexy about my man introducing me to new things. I get turned on when my man teaches me something new. There’s something to be said for stepping outside of your box. Now, let’s be clear. I’m in no way shape or form saying for you to try things that are totally against your moral compass, and you should definitely date someone who shares a few similar interests, but opening yourself up to relationships where people could show you something different helps make you a more well-rounded individual. Also, another awesome plus here is that you get to play teacher too. Men like to be taught things as well, and it is fun to usher someone you’re dating into your world and introduce them to things in which you find joy.
Hopefully these things listed can somehow offer a little guidance when you’re on the fence about when to pass on someone and when to give them a shot. You never really know until you try, but with a good foundation of how to weigh things out, at least you’re off to a good start.