5 Essential Premarital Counseling Questions to Ask Before Saying “I Do”
While an overwhelming majority of people in the Western world get married, between 40-50% of those marriages will end in divorce.
The CDC’s report of the marriage and divorce rates between 2000 and 2018 shares a similar idea from a different perspective. Considering divorce is one of the most painful and disruptive life occurrences we can have, the divorce rate is incredibly high.
This makes us wonder: Is there anything we can do to stem burgeoning divorce rates? One thing that has proven effective is premarital counseling.
In premarital counseling, questions are posed in a safe and comfortable atmosphere to bring up and resolve issues before marriage. After marriage, they’re timebombs waiting to go off and derail your relationship.
What are some of these important questions? We’ll cover five common questions in this intro to premarital counseling, so keep reading!
- Children: How Do You Feel About Kids?
The question of whether someone wants to have kids or not isn’t the only important question about children. How someone feels about children, in general, is a good place to start the conversation.
- Religion: Are Religion and Spirituality Important to You?
For many people today, religion isn’t important to them personally, but it might be important to their future spouse. It can be amazingly divisive, especially in a household with children, if a couple has different ideas on spirituality or religion.
On that point, religion and spirituality are very different animals altogether. Someone might identify as Catholic but not believe in a god. Another might be anti-religious but believe strongly in accountability to a creator.
Whatever the beliefs of the couple, it’s good to get it on the table early.
- Finances: How Will We Plan to Reach Our Goals?
This question usually gets lost on the way to finding out what your goals are. That is, if you can even talk about money and finances.
If you align your goals, you can choose how you will reach them: as a couple or as individuals.
- Work: What Balance Will We Have Between Work and Personal Life?
Work-life balance is one of those questions that often comes up when talking about money. If money isn’t very important to one mate, it could be for the other.
The one wrapped up in money could be focused on work more than their mate, which often causes feelings of emotional neglect. It’s good to know where you both stand on the definition of “balance.”
- Personal Background: Is There Anything I Should Know Now?
There are things we generally don’t want most people to know about us. These could be things that happened to us in our early childhoods, personality traits, or closely guarded secrets.
It can cause pain and trust issues if a mate decided to hide big things from the other until after the wedding day. This is where premarital counselors like Robin Bryant, Ph.D. can allow a comfortable place for these things to be discussed without judgment.
Last Word on Premarital Counseling Questions
These five questions are only a sliver of the hundreds of small details to go over before marriage. It can be overwhelming if you try to take it on alone.
Premarital counseling questions can help couples to open up in ways they never realized before. It can also help to surprise you and see the person from another (more positive) side.
Social Lifestyle Magazine has you covered from lifestyle to health and relationships. Keep browsing for more marriage and lifestyle tips!