Important Discussions Couples Should Have Before Marriage
You and your partner have realized it’s time to tie the knot. Congratulations! But before you embark on the entire wedding planning process of finding the right dress, food, music, invitations, and so much more, you must set time apart to have some important discussions. It’s easy to get swept up at the moment and neglect some crucial details for your marriage. That’s why up to 55% of couples in a study cited incompatibility as the reason for their divorce. Here are some important conversations you need to have before all the excitement begins:
Sex plays a significant role in a marriage because it can deepen your bond with your partner and create intimate moments where you can share your love. It is also a sensitive topic and can be quite embarrassing to bring up. However, if you are in a healthy relationship, bringing up certain cringe-worthy topics with your partner shouldn’t be a problem.
Most counselors or therapists encourage couples to express curiosity and interest in knowing their partner’s sexual preferences before marriage. It gives you an idea of what you can include in your relationship. You mustn’t shame or make your partner feel bad for having certain preferences. Instead, talk about ways you can bring your choices and preferences together.
You can also discuss past sexual relationships, how to make your partner feel secure if they have been victims of assault, and your expectations for the future. Creating a mutual understanding of your views on sex will play a valuable role in your wedding.
- Raising a family
If it hasn’t come up, you need to have this conversation as quickly as possible. You must know about your and your partner’s stance on having kids in the future. But it shouldn’t end there!
If you both agree to have kids in the next couple of years, you need to discuss the potential effects of what could happen if one of you changes their mind. You also need to discuss how you intend on raising your kids and if your parenting techniques and styles will align. Of course, all these things could change, but it helps give you an idea of what to expect.
You must also discuss the possibility of not having kids and what other options will be available to you and your partner? Would they be open to medical treatments like complete testosterone replacement therapy, in-vitro fertilization, or intrauterine insemination? These are all topics you need to cover to avoid any future problems along the line in your marriage.
- Your careers and finances
Nearly 48% of married couples say they mostly argue with their partners over money, whether they are spending too much or too little. Your finances and careers could become a source of potential tension and stress in your home. You must talk about it now to avoid any future stress.
Ensure that you decide on the best financial options for you. Would you keep your earnings separately or open a joint account? It would be best to determine which account you will need for everyday use and which ones for major investments. If one of you likes to spend more than the other, you must find a middle ground on how to spend money in a way that satisfies the two of you.
In that same vein, you must also talk about your career plans. How do you see yourself growing in your career? Would a promotion mean relocating? It’s important to align your expectations with reality to minimize arguments in your marriage.
- Religious beliefs
Aside from sex, religious beliefs are another awkward discussion to have with your partner. However, it is one that you shouldn’t put off, especially if one of you or both of you are religious. Before you have this talk, both of you must know your stance on religion. It might not be a big deal to you now, but it may surprise you when you find out down the line.
Religion is an extremely sensitive topic. That’s why you need to keep an open mind and respect your partner’s views when having this discussion. You might not have the same beliefs and still, love each other. As long as you are open to finding an arrangement that suits both of you, you will be successful. It’s also a great way to see how religion could fit into your big day and if it is important for both of you.
Preparing for and getting married is a joyous time for couples. However, you mustn’t forget to discuss what truly matters to help sustain your marriage beyond your big day.