When recently wed and engaged couples were surveyed by Zola Weddings, not surprisingly, 96% said planning their wedding was stressful. Nearly three-quarters said it was more stressful than major life events like purchasing a home. Most suffered from symptoms of stress like insomnia, hair loss, headaches, and skin breakouts.

To help reduce that stress, brides should consider these four very important pieces of advice.

Include the Groom in Your Planning

While your spouse-to-be might tell you that anything you like is fine, try to include him in your planning – you don’t have to be the frazzled one while he does nothing at all. Talk to him about what he thinks is most important on his wedding day. Even if there isn’t anything special he has in mind, he can help you do things like pick out the song for the first dance and put together the guest list, tracking down addresses of friends and family he’d like to be there so you don’t have to. If there is any family drama on his side, let him deal with it and you can handle your own. 

Finding the Right Dress

Finding that perfect dress can sometimes feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. Whether you’re searching for a one-of-a-kind couture wedding dress or a vintage gown at a discount outlet, you’ll want to bring pictures of dresses that you love when shopping. But be open to new ideas too, trying on at least five different styles so that you’ll know what complements your specific body type the best. Whatever you do, don’t try on dresses that are above your budget, not even just to see how they look on – it almost always leads to a big disappointment.

Focus on the Priorities and Let Go of the Rest

Before you start stressing about the little things from the programs and guest books to whether to have a champagne toast or spend a ton on floral arrangements, ask yourself if anyone will really care. For example, those golden dip-dyed roses are beautiful but is anyone really going to notice that you have designer blooms, or care if you don’t? Every decision should come down to whether your guests will appreciate it or even notice at all, and of course, whether or not you love it and can or can’t afford it. Most people generally only care whether a good time was had – other than a happy bride and groom, the food and dancing are usually the more essential factors.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Your family and friends can’t help if they don’t know that you’re feeling overwhelmed. Delegating is a must for stress relief and one of the most important rules of that is to let those around you know just what you need. Figure out which parts of the planning you feel comfortable delegating and think about the strengths of each friend and family member who will be involved. For example, maybe your cousin or sister has great style when it comes to hair and makeup – let her take the lead in researching hairstylists and makeup artists. Even if you ultimately want to choose your own invitations, you can let your sister, mom or mother-in-law search through options and then provide a shorter list for you to pick from based on the reviews and photos.