The world is full of peer pressure. We should look a certain way, speak a certain way, be interested in the same things as everyone else. From the playground to the water cooler, the desire to fit in and the pressure that comes with it is pervasive and stressful. 

What makes this even worse for women is the constant conflict between trying to be a feminist in a patriarchal world and simply being yourself. Sure, you’d love to be able to manage a tire change on your own in stilettos and perfect makeup. But, frankly, your personality type is more about giant sweaters and waiting for someone who can actually do the job to come along. 

And why not? 

Feminism shouldn’t be about complete independence or perfecting every single skill you’ll ever need or even about shunning men completely. Feminism should be about allowing all women to be their authentic selves without the very pressure that has kept us at home doing our hair in previous decades. 

So what is the solution?

Work at Things

One of the best things about Lindsey Vonn is that she is so open about the hard work she puts in. She has found her passion and she has worked and worked to make it to where she is today and that is truly inspiring for everyone. She shows that no matter what your interest might be, if you are willing to work at it, you can achieve your goals. 

There are so many areas of life that seem to be so much harder for women to achieve. We are held back from CEO jobs, are under-represented in STEM industries and are frequently held to higher or unattainable standards regarding our looks. With all this bias against us, it’s no wonder so many women simply give up. But, if you are bold, you are willing to work and push for what you want, you at least stand a chance of making it. Then you can pull other women up after you. 

It’s Okay To Fail

One of the most paralysing fears we encounter is the fear of failure. If you are always worried about the possibility of failure, you won’t get up and get to work. This is the most pernicious side of perfectionism – the idea that something isn’t worth doing unless you do it perfectly is deeply flawed. For one thing, how are you going to learn?!

Failure is always regarded negatively but there are actually a lot of benefits to failing. When you fail, you show that you are willing to try something new and able to learn from your mistakes. Reframe your idea of failing and it will get a lot easier. 

Stop Following the Crowd

It’s easier said than done but when you stop trying to keep up with the crowd and start being yourself, life gets a lot easier. Following the crowd and keeping up with a vague and ever-changing idea of perfection is exhausting. When you are true to yourself, acknowledging your passions and interests, embracing your sense of style and humor, you will find life a lot easier. And you won’t let anyone hold you back.