If you have recently embarked on a brand new relationship, the chances are that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in previous dalliances. Being in love is scary. It leaves us open to being hurt, makes us vulnerable and can prevent us from acting rationally. We want to find that one perfect healthy relationship that we commit to for the rest of our lives. However, finding your own happy place within a relationship cannot be overlooked. To be in a healthy relationship means looking after yourself first and foremost. Take a look at how you can maintain a healthy relationship.

Don’t Smother

Even if you are totally enamored by your new beau, you shouldn’t make them feel claustrophobic. Allow them to have their own space in the same way that you want your own space. It’s healthy to have your own groups of friends, hobbies and time to yourself. Being with one another twenty four seven may seem like a dream in the first instance but it soon gets tiring. Date, enjoy getting to know one another and allow your relationship to develop organically. It’s not healthy to demand to know where your partner is at all times, to move in together after a fortnight and to declare your undying love after a month.

Being clingy is unattractive. You need to give one another breathing space. Learn how to break the cycle of codependency otherwise you risk becoming part of a destructive relationship that eats away at your confidence and self esteem.

Trust

In any relationship you need a deep level of trust. Checking your partner’s phone because you have a hunch that they are cheating on you should ring alarm bells. The fact that you are feeling like that shows that you do not trust your relationship. If your partner gives you cause for not trusting them, it’s time to end it. Move on and find solace in the respect you have for yourself. Those relationships that lack trust are often one sided and can result in the abuse of the inferior partner. Don’t allow yourself to become this person.

Be Independent

Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t be independent. Even when you are married, you can still go out with friends once a week to catch a movie, meet with family separately, and head to your martial arts class alone. You don’t have to be accompanied everywhere by your partner. Being your own person, earning your own money and having your own job is empowering. You don’t have to become a housewife and succumb to an allowance from your partner. This is 1950s society, not twenty first century equality. A healthy relationship is based on love and respect.

Forget worrying about the perfect relationship, and focus on yourself within your newfound romance. You need self respect and the confidence to say when something isn’t working. Talk to your partner and communicate. Be yourself and enjoy the honeymoon period of your new relationship.