You’ve probably heard the statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce – and you’re determined not to be one of them. But do you actually know how to keep yourself from becoming part of that statistic? There are no guarantees in life, but the more effort you put into preparing for marriage before you’re married, the better your chances are.
Learn how to prepare for a marriage that lasts for the rest of your lives, below.
- Learn Your Love Languages
If you’re not familiar with the Love Languages, it time to get familiar, stat! The Love Languages is a relationship theory that posits that everyone feels and gives love in five different ways. Everyone has all of the different Love Languages, but the order and importance differ from person to person.
The Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
You can take the quiz online to find out your Love Language, or use the official book to figure yours out. Knowing your own Love Language lets you know what to ask for from your significant other, and the best way to communicate your love to them.
- Read the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse
Another book that’s widely-recommended by relationship theorists and counselors is “The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse by John and Julie Gottman”. This book was written after relationship experts watched hundreds of couples argue in an academic study, then tracked those couples to see who got divorced and who didn’t.
They found that there are four main aspects of arguments that lead couples to divorce. They are
- Criticism
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
- Contempt
The book shows couples how to recognize these patterns in their arguments, how to isolate those behaviors, and how to replace them with healthier argument strategies.
- Reach Out To Your Religious Leader
Depending on your religious affiliation, there may be a specific and structured process to go through after you get engaged. Most Christian churches have couples meet with their pastor at least once after engagement and pre-marriage, while the Catholic church has premarital classes that they require couples to take before they can get married in the church.
If you’re not involved in your local church but still identify as religious, there are premarital workbooks you can purchase online and work through together.
- Get Your Details in Order
A lot of marriage is about paperwork. There’s your marriage license, which is the document you have to get from the courthouse before your wedding. Then the name changes, the joining of bank accounts, anything to do with visas (like hiring the Visa Tutor), and deciding whose health insurance you’re going to file under.
This is where some of those premarital workbooks come in handy – they walk you through what you need to be doing when and how to do it.
- Don’t Lose Yourself in the Process
Your wedding is one day, but your marriage is (hopefully) forever. Don’t get too caught up in the wedding planning and forget to nurture your relationship during your engagement.
How to Prepare for Marriage
Your number one job during your engagement is to work on issues that could hurt your marriage down the line. If you can resolve, let’s say, the four horsemen of the apocalypse during your engagement, that doesn’t bode well for your marriage.
If you truly love and care for each other, then the process of how to prepare for marriage will be a fun one – not a stressful one!
Good luck and happy wedding!
