The moment an engagement ring slides down a woman’s ring finger, she’s entered the “wedding planning process” haze. Even if she’s a woman who planned her wedding when she was little, getting engaged is so exciting she’s likely to forget half of those plans and need to make new ones. It’s pretty time-consuming – ask any newlywed. They’ll tell you it’s also easy to get ten steps ahead of yourself, caught up in the wrong details of the big day. 

Before you get caught up asking yourself what the wrong details of your wedding day are, remember that everyone probably has different ideas of what the perfect wedding looks like. Your priority details are probably different from your coworkers, your friends, and almost certainly different from your parents’.

Expectation: the Elephant in the Room 

It is totally fair to say that some women have intense expectations about their wedding day, especially if they’re the type to have been thinking about it for a long time. The way weddings and wedding planning process are portrayed in the movies leaves something to be desired about in real life. 

Instagram, Facebook, and other social media platforms are great channels for the community around weddings. Unfortunately, much like social media’s influence on other aspects of life, this can have a negative consequence. Too much community is almost a breeding ground for comparison, and that’s a thief of contentment in every future bride’s process. 

Comparison is frustrating and oftentimes discouraging, so it’s important to remember that everyone has different priorities. Maybe even your future husband or wife. Comparison is likely the first obstacle you’ll have to conquer in the planning process, quickly followed by disagreement. 

These are the most important decisions to make together while planning your wedding

If you thought the comparison with others was difficult, try disagreeing about the details of your wedding day with your future spouse. The devil truly is in the details — so don’t get lost in the wrong ones. Before you are swept up in the process haze, outline your priorities as a future family unit. 

Your Budget

Some people have dreamt up a version of their wedding day that would make Bill Gates’ eyes roll back in his head. To put it in perspective, the average wedding in the United States cost more than $40,000 in 2019. 

There are a lot of ways to afford the wedding of your dreams, including saving up for it, financing it, or having someone else pay for it. At the end of the day, you’ll need to be on the same page with your future spouse about how you’ll not only be paying for your wedding, but how much you’re willing to spend on certain vendors and wedding accessories. 

It’s tempting to take out a loan to cover the costs of your wedding. The Black Tux recently mapped out how much it will cost you to do just that, depending on how much you’re willing to finance. If you’re going to be paying for your wedding without a loan, there are lots of do-it-yourself resources to help you. 

Who is in Your Bridal Party 

Your family and friends love you and support you. They’re excited for your next life adventure with your future spouse, and for all of the exciting milestones that will be coming up. All of this is to say that there are lots of people in your community that will be ready and probably competing to stand with you. At least, their emotions will be. 

Consider your bridal party to be the crew that ushers you into a life together with your future spouse. Would you really want someone your future husband has had beef with signing your marriage license? Talking about who is in your wedding party with clear heads is really important because they will also be helping you with the little details of planning your wedding. 

Set yourself up for success by addressing the elephant in the room and outlining expectations early on.