Few relationships in a woman’s life are as love-hate as the one she has with her high heels. We love them because they look great and make legs appear longer and leaner, helping petite women appear taller and tall women statuesque. The hate, however, comes when the pain begins.

High heels are the No. 1 culprit of foot pain for women, according to an American Podiatric Medical Association survey. Nearly half of all women wear heels, and 71 percent of heel-wearers say those shoes hurt their feet, the APMA reports.

“With many types of heels, like very high stilettos, foot pain is hard to avoid,” says Dr. Matthew G. Garoufalis, a podiatrist and immediate past president of the APMA. “But it is possible for women to find a happy mid-point between great looks and great pain.”

The APMA offers some basic guidelines for choosing better-for-you heels:

* Nearly half of heel-owners admit to wearing heels 3 inches or higher. That height, however, shifts body weight forward and puts great pressure on the ball of the foot and the toes. Avoid heels higher than 2 inches.

* A high stiletto with a pointy, closed toe is the worst type of shoe for your feet. Instead, choose heels with a generous toe box area and extra cushioning at the front of the shoe. A slight heel or wedge encourages your arch to lift.

* Consider wearing supportive shoes during your commute and changing into high heels after you arrive at the office. This will help minimize the time your feet spend in heels.

* Kitten heels are a good-looking, foot-friendly option for heel wearers. With a heel height typically less than 1 inch, kitten heels deliver a bit of height without the pressure that higher heels can cause.

* Be extra careful when wearing platforms or wedges, as these styles can compromise your balance and stability. Very high shoes may lead to ankle rolls and falls. Choose lower platforms and wedges that secure with ankle straps.

* During warm weather, peep toes tempt women to show off pretty pedicures. Be aware, however, that peep toes can cause toes to slip forward or overlap, and may even push nail edges into skin, causing an ingrown toenail.

* Visit the APMA’s website, www.apma.org, to review a list of podiatrist-approved women’s footwear that has earned the organization’s Seal of Acceptance.

* If you experience persistent foot pain, see a podiatrist. Feet shouldn’t hurt all the time, and if they do it may indicate injury, irritation or illness. You can search for a podiatrist in your area by visiting the APMA website.

Finally, even if you’re like the average American woman and own nine pairs of high heels, don’t wear them every day. Daily heel-wearing can cause the Achilles tendon (the strong tendon at the back of your ankle) to shrink, increasing your risk of an injury while doing activities in flat shoes, including exercise.

“Treat heels like dessert,” Garoufalis says. “Don’t wear them all the time, just on special occasions.”